Hey everyone. This is a very different than normal type of a blog post, but you all know that I am 100% honest about my thoughts, beliefs, the styles and products that I share on this blog. I felt a no makeup selfie would be fitting for me stripping myself and becoming more and more vulnerable with all of you. Notice I still chose a day when my skin looked beautiful and glowing, I still have breakouts and my face doesn’t always look like this.
My main goal with my blog and social media is to spread a positive and bright light in this dark world. I do believe I am happier and more optimistic than the “normal”, but I also make that a choice and a priority in my life. I also have been feeling more and more brave to be my real self and sharing my feelings helps me to feel free. Today however was different.
Nothing particular went wrong, but I just felt tired and discouraged. I started to question and doubt myself, some of my work projects, and began feeling overwhelmed with how much I still needed to do and how much further I needed to go. I am sharing because even someone as positive as me has those days where it’s a game of tug of war with the devil, even when not one specific thing in particular happened to trigger this feeling.
I never take lunch breaks, because I usually just work straight through. However,today I had to have a break. My husband was too busy with his work to go to lunch with me, so I just took some time to myself over a break. I finally went and filled up my car with gas and got my oil changed and didn’t feel pressure to be anywhere other than taking a break and taking a breather for myself. I also got a massage yesterday by Crystal at The Beauty Market. It was my first ever one in 8 months and she told me that my shoulders, quads and pecks were all on the verge of lock down. I have been working out almost every day and lifting heavier, so I need to take that into account. I almost didn’t go into the massage because I was actually training 2 new employees, but I felt too guilty to reschedule at the last minute. Thanks to Nikki, the Beauty Market owner, for encouraging me to schedule this massage, take more time to care for myself and for allowing me a place where I can be feel so comfortable. See even as much as I preach about balance and cutting back on work, I still struggle to always see this through.
By the time I went back into work to pull it together, I needed to get ready to take product shots. I told one of my newest employees that I wanted to do anything besides put on makeup, try to make my dirty hair look good and take photos. But I did it anyway and started to get my spark back. Then while shooting the first look, I had a customer who came in specifically to shop with me and to meet me as she is an avid follower of mine. She was kind and sweet and told me how she had just purchased a portion of her very first business at only 19 years old. When she asked me if I was excited about having a storefront aspect as a part of my business again, I felt completely ok to be honest and say that the answer was yes, but I have been feeling tired from the extra work it has taken the past few weeks to get set up. I also told her I sure was glad that I pulled myself together to look made up for her to meet me, because sometimes now I’m not even dressed when I meet my followers in real life. She asked for a picture with me and it made my day when I saw it and got to repost. I really do love interacting with you all I n person even more than just the internet. Laney, you made my day and reminded me why I do what I do and share so much about myself and my beliefs, even on a day that had me feeling doubtful.
My newest Southern Jewlz arrivals still aren’t up this week and it’s Wednesday night. Hopefully I’ll have them up tomorrow, but if not, then Friday it is. I’m taking the rest of this evening to go on a walk and then cuddle up with Grant and Bucky. I’m so thankful that Grant could tell I was a little down and I came home to a clean kitchen, a prepared meal and all the laundry done and folded. Even on the days where it’s harder to be positive, you’ve got to see the light and give thanks for the blessings received.
I’m not even really sure the point of this blog post or even how to wrap it up. I just wanted to vent and share my real feelings that as hard as I try to balance, life can still be hard to not get overwhelmed. I’m thankful to be at a place in life where I can tell others and share my weaknesses and struggles. I used to be so scared to be vulnerable, but now I feel it helps me through situations to be completely honest. When I think back to the 20 year old me that started a business from the ground up, I was unapologetically myself, brave, fearless and didn’t care what others thought about me or said about me. Social media wasn’t near what it is today back then, so as much as I love being transparent and sharing my life, sometimes it can make me feel a little overwhelmed like today. I’m at a place where I don’t listen to the negative or feed into others trying to tear me down, but the devil sure is persistent at times. I just wanted to let you know that if you’ve ever felt discouraged, it’s ok. Whether or not something triggered your feeling or if you’re just more down and out than usual, try to find the light at the end of the tunnel. Find at least one thing to be grateful for, even if it’s getting a fresh start the next day. Because sometimes bad days just means tomorrow is going to be a better one!
As much as I want to conquer the world and set it on fire, I have to remind myself that I’m not gonna do it all overnight. Life is a journey. There are ups and downs. Positives and negatives. Good days and bad days. Feelings can be hard to control, but having feelings and acknowledging them is so important! I never want to get to a place where I am ignorant of my feelings or try to numb them. If you’re an avid instagram follower of mine, you’ll know that I posted lots of real thoughts in a row last week on my insta story. Two of those quotes really reached out to me today, so I wanted to share them again:
“It takes courage to show your authentic self. Not everyone will see what you see and that’s okay. Be true to yourself. There’s only one “you” and this world needs “you” to be “you” to be complete. You never know just who you may be inspiring.” – Darlene Austin
“Numb souls are now growing souls. We are meant to struggle and feel pain and undergo failures to grow in God’s Kingdom.”
I know people can be judgmental about others feelings or how they handle them, and I just wanted to remind everyone that having doubtful feelings is completely normal. This is where loving yourself becomes so important! Always remember that we grow the most through adversity.
I hope everyone has a wonderful rest of the evening! Cheers to tomorrow being better.